Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I wrote you a blog post, but I eated it.
Ever notice how hard it is to get the motivation to actually sit down and write sometimes? I run into this with my research papers, my blog, sometimes even with letters to friends far away. Either too much is going on in my life, or nothing is going on in my life and I'm close to achieving a catatonic state, but blog ideas run through my mind at inopportune moments, only to sound boring or already-done later. Or I forget them, as I do so many things.
Like the blog post about my father's sudden brush with death in the form of a brain tumor. His surgery and recovery took up most of my September, and I found dozens of ways to write about it while driving hours on the road to and from school and the hospital (neither of which are near home). I just never found the time to actually put the thoughts to keyboard, and the moment was lost.
Or the blog post about my mother being hospitalized for a few days last month with blood clots. I thought of how her early-onset dementia has affected so many of us, and how on visits to her I feel like I'm a porcelain vase, falling apart and then afterward piecing myself back together until the next visit. But I never sat down, willing to put that out there, however true it feels.
Or the blog post about Veterans Day, my yearly appreciation of my husband, brother, friends, and everyone else who has ever "written a blank check payable to the United States of America, up to and including their own lives," as the saying goes. But although we celebrated Veterans Day, I never came to the computer to share it. Some military wife blogger, I thought as I scrolled through so many posts from other military bloggers.
Instead, I post that I'm feeling prickly, because really I'm feeling overwhelmed. And irritable. And in some ways, hurting. And of course disappointed with myself as yet another day passes without posting.
So, my apologies to you, my readers, for not doing a better job of finding interesting ways to share my life. My many thanks to the veterans...even though it's not Veterans Day, your service continues to be remembered and appreciated. And to keep myself accountable, I'll be posting a project I've been working on with some military wife friends on Thanksgiving: finding something to be thankful for, each day this month. Yes, I've kept up with at least one. ;) I hope everyone has been doing well this fall, and I look forward to catching up with y'all soon! If you're traveling this week, happy and safe travels. And enjoy that turkey/ham/BBQ/fish/steak/hamburger, however you celebrate the big day.