A Busy Wednesday Hodge-Podge

 

     Today I am finally taking some time to catch up on my blog reading. It was only due to a chance conversation with my younger brother (who is currently deployed to Afghanistan) about blogs that I realized just how long it has been since I used mine! I'll try to post updates about everything that has been going on during this busy, busy spring, but for now I'm enjoying a quick meander through the Wednesday Hodgepodge from Joyce. Feel free to join in, link up, and become part of the fun!

1. What do you think makes a good dad?

I think that more than anything, a good father loves and wants the best for his child. This doesn't have to mean going outside to play catch or teaching a child how to properly cast a line, but a good father works hard to live a life worth emulating and encourages his child's interests and desires. Being able to admit mistakes and work to rectify them is pretty important, too...we parents are human, and we are the longest running example to our children of how to live. Treating others with respect, showing kindness and love, and being a strong support are at the top of  my list. I'm thankful that my father and my husband both meet those requirements. :)

2.  What’s something you learned from your own father?

My father taught me the beauty in music...all different kids of music were found in our home over the course of my young life as my father played everything from a fiddle, mandolin, dulcimer, and banjo in bluegrass bands to electric guitar and big bass in rock bands. He also taught me the value in pursuing something you love even when it's not easy. As a self-taught musician, he had to work hard in order to meet his own expectations--and having a family to support didn't make meeting his goals any easier. He also taught me not to allow myself to be subsumed by my children and family life. I have never been the mother who lost her identity to motherhood, and I have him to thank for that.

3. It’s your birthday-what kind of cake will we be having?

Something nut free and homemade, so I know it's safe for me to eat! :) A butter cake is sounding pretty good right now! Then again, we might just have homemade cinnamon rolls instead.

4. When you’re faced with a big decision are you more of a go with your gut type of person, or are you someone who reasons it all out, weighing the pros and cons?
I do both...I find my gut feeling, then weigh the pros and cons if I'm still not sure. I'm also good about asking others for direction or thoughts--Then I make a choice and stick with it!

5. June is National Dairy Month. What’s your favorite dairy item? Most often purchased dairy item? 

My favorite dairy item is butter...it's just so versatile and tasty! :) My most often purchase dairy item would be a toss up between milk and cheese. We go through a lot of both in this house.

6. Explorer Jacques Cousteau was born on June 11, 1910….what’s something you’ve recently discovered or something you’d like to explore?

I recently discovered the treasure trove of items left in my new classroom by a retiring teacher, so I'm excited to explore everything that's there for me. :) Other than that, I haven't done much discovery or exploration lately. Life has been pretty busy. 
 

7. Are you typical of your generation?
 
Probably not...I tend to be more of a throw-back in many ways. I'm darn near a Luddite compared to some of my more tech-savvy friends. I still have a cell phone without internet access, and we have a landline with a newly installed answering machine. The phone is corded, no less! :)


8.  Insert your own random thought here.

After dealing with a big outbreak of itchy hives that just doesn't want to calm down, I think I can safely say that this is worse than Chinese water torture--just as unending, just a crazy-making, and just as difficult to get to sleep more than a short snatch at a time. Boooo!  

Mother's Day

I read an article today, one that I've read before. It's about mothers, and how many of us feel that we're not photogenic enough anymore to jump in front of a camera and document our lives with our young children. The article talks about soft bellies and messy hair, dark circles and cellulite. Then the author takes a detour, looking at photos of her own mother and grandmother, thinking that she doesn't judge them in the way she judges herself. She sees the beauty in them, the love and the care, the person behind the freckles and the wrinkles, the full face and the milk-stained shirts.

I sometimes wonder if my children will remember me as fondly. I'm not that romanticized stay-at-home mom. I always struggled with that part of myself. I wanted to be out, to be learning, to be pushing farther and becoming more. I thought that was the legacy I wanted to leave for my children--and in a way it is. I do want them to believe that nothing can hold back a dream and that hard work will take you farther than you expected and through twists and turns that you never dreamed would be part of your story.

Part of me also wants to be that mom who is always there with a listening ear, a kind word, a soft smile, and a quiet heart. The mother that I had growing up, the one whose hardships and imperfections I have softened and smoothed out like an expert photographer. I know those details in my head, but when I look at her pictures or picture her in my mind, the reel slows, the picture becomes rosey-toned, and I see the ruffles of an apron, the dusting of flour, and see a smile curve slowly across her face. I see the round cheeks and the small fullness of her limbs, but I'm not judging a beauty pageant with emaciated models. I'm seeing that caricature of womanliness, the cook whose work shows in her own figure, proving that she is able to well provide for her family.

It is easy to romanticize those we love who are passed. It is comforting and seems a tribute in a way. What will my own children romanticize, if anything? Mom curled up with them around a book? Mom's flair for the dramatic, her push for their best?

I hope that when the time comes, they are able to sort through my library with a smile, to page through photo albums filled with pictures of Mom alongside them because the camera was set to self-timer or pushed into the hands of their father, or the fun self-portraits where we wish our arms were just a little bit longer so we didn't look so self-aggrandizing...

Yes, I hope that my children have fond memories of me, even if it's with a laugh at how goofy and lime-light stealing Mom could be from time to time. I do love a good audience, especially if it's my little ones there to enjoy the show.

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Courtesy of Photobucket.com

The month of February is filled with shows of affection: pink and red hearts flutter in the breeze on garden flags, stores are filled with heart-shaped mylar, and you can't turn on the radio without hearing a jeweler's or florist's ad.

I'm not one of those people who thinks this is only a "Hallmark holiday," created by hardhearted salesmen in order to turn a bigger profit--I think they tap into it, but the holiday is really created by the people all over who want to show each other affection by exchanging candy and sweet nothings. If you ask me, it's created by children who adore giving their classmates valentines of every description.

Instead of taking time out of our daily lessons to make Valentine's mailboxes, this year our class will be creating theirs at home. This means I also need to create my mailbox at home. If you think I've had writer's block, you should see my creative block when it comes to making this one small item. I already have plans for the students' valentines from me, thanks to a little heart-shaped homework pass my cooperating teacher was happy to share. It's the box, of all things, that's giving me trouble.

But in spite of that, I'm looking forward to the interruption of our daily routine (not really), the excitement of opening the box to see what's inside (absolutely), and the sugary goodness that will make all the students out of their minds with that amazing combination of glucose and caffeine (I can barely hold my excitement). For all its faults, I do love Valentine's Day in a school setting. It's hard to beat the affection that is spread around among the students, and I love my class. Here's hoping some inspiration will strike before next week, though, or I might find myself not as loving as I thought!

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I wrote this post as a part of Kallay's "I love Tuesdays" link-up. Feel free to join in!

Clutter and Joy

It has been some time since I've participated in a Faith Jam from Faith Barista. Student teaching is not for the faint of heart, and I have felt more like I am being run over by my schedule than running my schedule. That's what makes today's prompt so perfect: clutter.

Clutter.

Mess.

Hectic.

Stressful.

My house has become amazingly cluttered since I began student teaching at the start of the month. It's hard to imagine that the every day things like laundry and the detritus of children can add up so quickly. Things might not be put back as soon as they're laid aside, and so it begins. A glove can't be found. Then a library book that needs to be returned to the school. Then the piece to a kit mysteriously vanishes from where it was set down.

But worse than the usual clutter and its aftermath is the mental clutter I seem to carry around. To do: groceries...did I remember to write that thing down? It's on the tip of my tongue...Wait, I have to study for my licensure exam, is that this Saturday? Don't forget to brainstorm the lessons for next week, I want to impress my observers. Oh, no, I nearly forgot that appointment! That's more time lost.
I'm sure we all have some of that mental clutter. I would write it down (and usually do), but then it's apt to be lost in the physical clutter on my desk!

My nearest thing to a New Year's resolution was to become more organized. My cooperating teacher has commented several times on how "organized" I am. I give her a crooked grin and explain that it's only because I would lose everything otherwise, and believe me, my house is nothing like this! Thankfully she is a mother to two young girls, so she understands very well how difficult the juggling game can be, especially for a teacher just starting out.

I'm not looking for perfection this year, but I do want to get a better handle on the clutter. Controlled chaos, perhaps. Those stressed-out words that came immediately to mind? I want to let them recede in my life, so that I can enjoy the moments of discovery and joy with my children and husband that I've been too strained and hectic to notice lately. As much as the physical clutter does need wrangling, it's the mental clutter that I'm most concerned with.

So I'll pack it up, one box at a time. Closing the flaps on self-judgment and doubt, opening wide the box where whimsy and spontaneity have been stored for too long. It's time for a mental spring cleaning.

And I'll also put the laundry away. :)

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Thank you for visiting if you're here through Bonnie's Faith Jam. If you haven't participated in a Faith Jam before, please visit her blog and see the variety of responses we all have to the prompt of the week, and consider adding your own!

2012: The Year That Was

1) What did you do in 2012 that you have never done before?

Several things, I suppose: I bought and raised chickens from day-old peeps, rescued a [semi?] abandoned kitten, and practiced using an Epi-pen for the first time.

2) Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make any more next year?

I don't remember what my New Year's Resolution was last year...I'm sure I joked about resolving not to make resolutions. ;) I don't have plans for any resolutions, since they tend not to be kept. I do hope to get a better handle on my organization skills, though.

3) Any major life events happen in your life?

Not really, beyond the medical issues. It was a fairly uneventful year otherwise.

4) Where did you travel?

Absolutely nowhere. Between classes and animals, there just wasn't time!

5) What did you lack in 2012 that you would like more of in 2013?

Peace, confidence, and financial stability. One particular "thing": health insurance. That was sorely lacking this year. But there were other things we had in abundance: love, support, furred and feathery animals...

6) What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon  your memory?

None stand out. I don't mind that a bit. :)

7) What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Continuing in my graduate education and scoring well above the state passing requirements for two of my three licensure exams. I didn't wrap anything up with a bow this year, but sometimes it's the "sticktoitiveness" that's an achievement all by itself.

8) What was your biggest failure?

Allowing my fear of an allergic reaction to limit my diet so much. I'm slowly building up to a decent variety of foods, but I still struggle with this on a near-daily basis.

9) Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes, although the doctors never found an answer to my bleeding issues. They seemed to resolve on their own, but every pain brings a watchfulness. All told, though, I'm still a healthy individual.

10) What was the best purchase you made?

I can't think of anything out of the ordinary. Our new washer and dryer were a definite plus, as was the deep freezer that my husband is getting so much joy out of stocking. :)

11) What things/people inspired you the most?
I have been inspired by the teachers I've had the privilege of observing this year. I don't think we as parents or a society really appreciate how much is asked of our teachers, and how much they accomplish day in and day out. The Newtown shootings highlighted the love teachers have for their students and the sacrifices they're willing to make in order to protect them, but I've seen this play out in a thousand tiny ways every day...the effort made to understand a child's home life and compensate for the unmet needs, the kindness shown to a student who needs that extra bit of attention and would be disruptive in order to achieve it, the extra hours put into a lesson so that it becomes an experience instead of memorization. I am inspired by these people who care for our most precious gifts every day.

12) What things/people disappointed you the most?

I've been disappointed by many things, as we all have this year. The pharisees in our midst who claim to follow one creed but live by a vastly different one, never realizing that their example stands brightly before those who need no excuse to be disappointed by religion as just another reason not to believe. The politicians who would play games with people's lives rather than care for the country with whose leadership they have been grudgingly entrusted. The people in the public eye who have shown utter lack of character and set such a horrible example for us all. But these are things that seem to stay with us from year to year.

13) Where did most of your money go? 

Toward working on the house and building a chicken coop, mainly. Quite a chunk went toward medical bills as well, and then there were the funds that went toward building a professional wardrobe from my jeans and college hoodie collection. A little bit went toward books and the odd clearance item that I wanted to stock away for a future classroom. But in general, the largest chunk went toward the usual bills. :P

14) What did you get really excited about? 

The chickens! We have absolutely had a ball with raising the chicks and gathering eggs. Becoming a micro-mini farm has been a blast.

15) What song will always remind you of 2012?

Because I don't have any particular stand-out moments, I don't really have any particular stand-out songs, either. Perhaps Julie Fowlis' "Touch the Sky" from the Brave soundtrack or "These are my Mountains" from the Speyside Sessions. No, I don't listen to normal people's music, how'd you guess?

16) Compared to this time last year, are you:

• Happier or hardened? Neither.
• Thinner or fatter? A good 15-20 lbs thinner, though anyone would tell you that I couldn't stand to lose it in the first place. The joys of being on your feet in the classroom and worrying about every morsel that passes your lips, I suppose.
• Richer or poorer? On balance, again. But we have what we need, and we have blessings beyond the financial...on the whole, I'm content.

17) What do you wish you'd done more of?

Enjoyed my time, slept, taken walks, played with the kids, cuddled with my husband, read...

18) What do you wish you'd done less of?

As much as I enjoy it, I should have stayed off the computer more...and worried less.

19) What was your favourite TV program? Least favourite?

Since we don't have cable (or antenna in these mountains, thanks for the digital, Washington!), I keep up with things online or through Netflix. Thanks to this, I don't have time to accumulate "least favourite" shows...I simply don't seek them out. My favorite program was probably "Grimm," although I enjoyed Downton Abbey and catching up on Sherlock as much as anyone.

20) What was the best book you read? Worst book?

I'm not sure which I would choose as a best book...there are those that held my interest and were entertaining, such as the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon (yes, I just discovered a 20-year-old series. I know.) and A Discovery of Witches/ Shadow of Night  by Deborah Harkness. Then there are the books that are inspiring, such as Teach Like Your Hair's On Fire by Rafe Esquith. If I started a bad book, I don't remember it.

21) What was your favourite song/album/artist (and least favourite)?

• Fave song: "Touch the Sky" by Julie Fowlis.
• Fave album: The Speyside Sessions
• Fave Artist: Can't say that I have one right now.
• Least fave song: The obnoxious "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen. Could a song be more overplayed and spoofed?
• Least fave album: Didn't have one.
• Least favourite artist: I can't think of any off the top of my head.

22) Favourite film this year? Worst film?

We only went to see "Brave," so that was most definitely our favorite. Again, a worst (from  our DVD watching) doesn't really spring to mind. Perhaps "The Picture of Dorian Gray." I think it may have been at the end of 2011 that we watched it but it makes my all time worst list, for sure!

23) What was one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not having allergies, either food or environmental. I was pretty miserable this summer and fall between the two. Also not having the concerns about my bloodwork. Essentially, better health!

24) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Cardigans, scarves, and flats. Layering and foot comfort is everything in a school.

25) What kept you sane?

My husband, unfailingly. He is the most amazing man, especially for putting up with me. ;)

26) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Fancy the least? 

I'm going with Martin Freeman for most fancied...between Sherlock and The Hobbit, as well as catching an episode of the BBC's Who Do You Think You Are? featuring his search for information on his grandparents, he's been on my screen quite a bit of late. He's a great actor, particularly in the smaller roles where you wouldn't expect as much. He also has done some offbeat things, such as "The Girl Is Mime," a neat short film produced for the London 48 Hour Film Project a couple of years ago.

It doesn't hurt that he bears a passing resemblance to my husband if you squint a bit. ;)

Fancy the least? Any of the numerous people who have been unfaithful to their spouses this year. Also, Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church.

27) What political issues stirred you the most? The least?

I'm always stirred by the need to encourage as many people as possible to vote. I don't really discuss my political thoughts much here, but suffice to say, I don't have much in the way of "least stirring political issues." ;)

28) What news story did you like the most? Hate the most?
Being a bit of an Anglophile, I enjoyed all the coverage of the London Olympics and the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

There wasn't a particular story I hated the most (we all hate when bad news comes through, especially when it involves children, and there were plenty of those stories this year, as in every other year), so I'll go with what I hated the most about the media in general. Where have all the copy editors gone? Where have all the fact checkers gone? I found myself going to Snopes and FactCheck nearly every time I read a story, because nothing seemed to ring true this year. A free press is one of our most strongly held rights in this country...why can we not live up to the ideal that begot that right?

29) What sports moment did you like the most? Hate the most?

I don't watch sports, really. I didn't even catch much of the Olympics, just the online coverage.

30) Favourite blog (other than yours)? Blog Post (other than yours?). 

• Fave Blog: Kallaydoscope
• Fave Blog Post #1: Heads Down, Hands Up: Let's Take a Vote
• Fave Blog Post #2: Politics and Religion
• Fave Blog Post #3: 21 Pictures to Restore Your Faith in Humanity (Not exactly a blog post, but well worth it!)
• Fave Blog Post #4: The Only Mommy War Worth Waging
• Fave Blog Post #5: The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do

31) Favourite Blog Post (of yours)?
I didn't have much to work with this year, since many posts were of the "this seems like a fun meme" variety. I did have a few more meaningful ones in there, though...here are the top three.

• Friendship, Facebook, and the Things that Make Us Tick (November 9th)
• Mourning Has Broken (May 22nd)
• Philosophy 101 (November 7th)

32) Who is your 2012 Person of the Year? Anyone who has reached out to help someone this year.

33) Who do you miss?

My mother most of all. I miss each of my relatives who has passed on, and it has weighed more heavily on me this year than most, but she is the star that has burned out of my sky. I will always miss her.

34) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:

Don't let fear hold you back. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

35) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"I'm gonna live where the green grass grows
Watchin' my corn pop up in rows
Every night be tucked in close to you
Raise our kids where the good Lord's blessed
Point our rocking chairs towards the west
Plant our dreams where the peaceful river flows
Where the green grass grows"

~Craig Wiseman and Jess Leary

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

If you've read many of my posts, you'll know that I have a special blogger friend. She doesn't realize this, but I think of her as a mentor as well as a friend. We're the same age chronologically (well, she has a few months on me. Just five days under five, to be exact), but she's years ahead of me in many ways. Her kindness is unmatched, and despite so many challenges, she has maintained her personal joy and shown amazing wisdom. If you haven't visited my friend Kallay, you really should. Her way with words and the heart behind them will take your breath away.

This year she began a blogging journey through questions: 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind. The answers may not come easily, especially if they're thought-out and honest, but I think they're worth the consideration. I'm going to try to make it through them this coming year. If you'd like to take a stab at them yourself, the questions are below:

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

{Thanks to Marc and Angel Hack Life for the questions!}

Something You Made

It's hard to move past the news this weekend, but I noticed that some people were still posting their photo-a-day captures, and thought I might take a moment to jump in as well. In some ways I don't want to deal with the holiday season or daily life, because it feels wrong to continue as if nothing happened. On the other hand, it feels unfair to those who haven't died in "tragic" circumstances not to mourn them just as deeply. I think there is something to the argument that the media is sensationalizing this incident and perhaps encouraging a sick individual with this notoriety. Certainly being too close to the article shares and discussions hasn't helped me deal with the pain or the concerns that Newtown has brought forward. Although it is difficult, it may be that this season will help many find hope in the despair, peace for their anxiety, and eventually joy from this awful sadness. I certainly hope that the families and friends of those who were lost will find at least a small measure of comfort in the weeks ahead. My thoughts are with them.

My photo-a-day submission is a picture of "something I made" for a junior Latin convention entry in the textiles division. Appropriately for this time of year, it is a hand-drawn pattern of the Virgin and child, with the text of the first verse of "Adeste Fideles," the Latin version of "O Come, All Ye Faithful." Completely designed and stitched by my fifteen-year-old self, hand-framed by my dad...so, something I made, something my father made, it's a two-for-one presentation.
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This post is part of the December Photo a Day challenge hosted by Fat Mum Slim. There's no pressure, you can join in or not at your leisure...but I'd love to see your take on the prompts! Join in via blog, Instagram, or Twitter, and use the hashtag #FMSPHOTOADAY.